Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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