Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
