When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
