ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
