this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
