Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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