The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
