I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
