Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
