It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
