how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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