I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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