I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
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