Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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