Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this must be what syphilis tastes like
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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