so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
