I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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