I hate all girls vehemently.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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