A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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