i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
