I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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