i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
