hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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