You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
