She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
