You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
