people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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