you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
