I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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