Non-Jews are for practice
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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