I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
