I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
