you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
