ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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