please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
