The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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