hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
