I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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