I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
