Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
