Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
