oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
