When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
