How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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