addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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