at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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