This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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