i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
