hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
