I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
