In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
